I admit it. I’ve been a Harry Potter fan since…well, since way before the star of the movies went through puberty. I’ve seen them all entirely too many times, read the books, read and write fanfiction, and did I mention I actually cursed when I heard the most recent movie release is delayed? Yes, I have it that bad. But, I know my fixation with the movies is purely based on a love of all things magical and fun. Really. Completely innocent.

Then there’s this thing with Daniel Radcliffe. It’s gotten so bad I watch his interviews on YouTube. It’s gotten so bad I find myself staring at his (nice, fully dressed) photos without even realizing I’m doing it. It’s gotten so bad, he’s got his own tag on this blog as well as my “normal” blog. *sigh* He’s actually topped Angelina on my “people I have shameless fantasies about” list. I’m sure this is temporary. Maybe.

Okay, there’s nothing wrong with finding him attractive because he’s 19, right? I didn’t know until recently that the age of majority in England is 16, so that makes it even less weird to lust after him, right? Right. It’s not my fault though. He just…he sits there looking all sexy and beautiful and says funny things and makes dirty jokes and I just. can’t. take. it. I laugh and smile and I start thinking things I should NOT be thinking about him. He’s too young. Or not. I know at his age I didn’t feel too young to say and think some of the things I did. It’s just that, with him, I feel like I should have some boundaries because I’ve been a fan since he was 11. Yes, it makes me feel old. No, I haven’t cared for almost a year now. Well, I do care, but not enough to start thinking only pure thoughts again.

Take his most recent interview with Details magazine (hitting stores next week). The reporter describes him as wearing Absolut Joy jeans and Dan says “that’s what lurks beneath” his fly and what do I do? Drool and start picturing that. And the sexy smirk he was probably wearing when he said it. And getting him out of the jeans. Bad! I blame him. He’s corrupted me and none of this is my fault. I would only think innocent things about him if his photo shoots were tame and he never made comments like this. And the intriguing comments continued through the interview. I want a copy of this magazine. I don’t even care that they photoshopped him to death on the cover. He still looks hot. I can’t wait to see the rest of the pics from the shoot.

I will admit to some questions when he said he would love to play a drag queen because it would give him a chance to wear loads of eye makeup. Um…not that I’d care if he’d want to wear a dress for another reason, but would it make me think he’s hotter if he is bisexual? (Not that wanting to dress like a woman means anything relating to orientation, but that’s where my thoughts went.) It probably would. Probably not a politically correct thought process, but it did have me picturing him in a dress and myself putting on his makeup. And then telling him how pretty he is. And then showing him how much I appreciate his beauty in a very personal way.

I should probably stop reading his interviews. (Especially since I’ve started wondering when he lost his virginity and liked the idea of him not being a complete novice in the bedroom. And alternately wishing he was so I could fix that.) It does nothing but put bad thoughts into my mind. So, that’s it then, right? I’ll stop watching his interviews, reading them, looking at photos, watching his movies…nah. I can’t do that. I can’t do any of that. Not only do I not have that kind of willpower, I’m enjoying this torture. I know I shouldn’t be all silly and fangirly where he’s concerned, but screw that. I like it. Enough that what was going to be a two paragraph blog entry has turned into this.

I want him. Damn him. Or should I say fuck him? LOL Never mind….