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In a round of blog tag, today I visited Gracie@ Marketing Whore, from there to A Slip of a Girl, and from there to Lingerie Directory UK. What was the fuss about?

Google stupidity.

No, more specifically Google decided to ban ads from a lingerie company for being “adult content.” Apparently, hot chicks in underwear is too adult for people searching for…um…hot chicks in lingerie. Meaning: if you advertise what you sell (and if what you sell isn’t marketable to pre-schoolers) Google will refuse your money. Right. I’ve already complained about this, so I knew exactly what I wanted to say on Gracie’s blog:

Good lord. I don’t mean to be crass (okay, maybe I do), but Google is entirely too uptight. Somebody over there needs to get laid. I don’t understand how they can figure out how to block what could amount to hundreds of millions of dollars of revenue a year through their wonky algorithm, but they can’t figure out a formula to keep the adult type people from the kid-friendly sites.

It’s kind of sick when you think about it. If you search for something even remotely adult related with them, you get all kinds of porn and toy ads that may have nothing to do with what you’re searching for. It’s like they have every site separated into “this close to Disney” and “will corrupt young minds” with no room in between. There is a spectrum, an area in between that might not be safe for 5-year-olds, but doesn’t require a 1-900 number and credit card to view either.

Is it that they’re so determined to stay family friendly they’re afraid of offending the sexually repressed minority of this country? (Just because they’re sometimes the loudest, doesn’t mean they speak for most of us.)

Honestly, they should look at what people put into their search engine. I do. Every day. I see what terms people use to search for my blogs, I can take a fair guess at what they’re expecting to find LOL and I seriously doubt Google turning all of their ads into something we would’ve seen during the Leave It To Beaver heyday will benefit Google, the consumers, the websites they’re shutting out or the blogs like mine that won’t water down their content just to get ads.

*sigh* Google is stupid.

Then, I followed the links and had this to add:

Okay, having looked at the ads, I do agree that the one with the guy holding the underwear in his teeth is a bit much, but the rest aren’t that bad. Besides, wouldn’t they only come up if someone was looking for something along those lines?

Really, I don’t understand it. Why does Google fight against making (dirty) money? They go out of their way to buy up or shut out every available threat of competition, but refuse to open up every possible avenue of making money? At the rate they’re going, adult advertisers (including the non-pornographic variety) will have nowhere to promote their products but the back pages of adult magazines and obscure text ads on craigslist. After reading all of this, I thought “Maybe they have a point. They refuse to promote what and where they think is dirty and they have that right.” Then, I decided to look at the ads on the Lingerie Directory site. (Of course I did, I like looking at hot half naked chicks as much as the next person.)

Wow. They have a LOT of Google ads on that page. For lingerie. For “see thru” lingerie. For “trashy” lingerie. Hmph. Does that sound like hypocrisy to anyone? I thought so, but then I clicked on most of the links. Turns out, they DON’T actually lead to lingerie sites. The majority don’t, but a couple do. Where do they lead? you ask. Why, to pages full of…links advertising lingerie. Google ads for more shit they’re not trying to sell people who are looking for it.

Oh, wait! Here is an example of a lingerie site connected to a Google ad.

See that? It’s even child friendly. There’s a Sesame Street product right on the page.

The lesson here is this, you cannot advertise adult products with Google or expect adult ads that match your content. You can, however, get ads that appear to relate to what you’re writing about, but lead to nothing, which supports Google’s policy of not promoting adult oriented sites but still taking their money without blinking when it suits them. Great for The Suits, bad for anyone who actually wants to advertise or buy anything, ever.