Being in love with Angie’s eyes does not make me a lesbian. Wanting to doing something dirty with her does. Or does it?

I read a survey a couple of years ago and the results were surprising (but somehow not). Just about every (hetero) woman surveyed said they had a girl-crush on Angelina Jolie. What is a girl-crush you ask? My lame definition: when one woman admires another woman’s personality and/or looks in a (usually) non-sexual way. Girl-crushes can be admitted without embarassment, unwanted questions about sexuality, or the suggestion from your boyfriend that you “just try it once, for him.”

Until this point, I’d honestly thought I was a rare breed. A woman with a thing for Angie (and her eyes/lips/smile/sexy voice). *sigh* I’m starting to think there are no women left who don’t find her attractive (except for that bland chick Brad used to bone). It’s not such a bad thing. Until I realized something else. She is possibly the ONLY woman I’d ever want to be in a sexual relationship with. I pride myself on being a bit openminded. I have nothing against most people or their beliefs (excepting my allergies to fakeness and stupidity) and I try to be open to most suggestions in a hypothetical manner. I’ve always thought if I had the chance to be with a woman I completely trusted, I wouldn’t have a problem doing the do with her. Wrong. Without getting into specifics, I’ve had the chance before. Without hesitating, I decided there are places my mouth will probably NEVER go, even if the hypothetical female in question splashed her bits and pieces with tequila and held a lime between her nether lips. It couldn’t work for me. I find lots of women attractive (there I go being “openminded” again), but I just don’t see myself having some sort of oral interaction with another female. On the giving end anyway. What can I say? I’m selfish. Comes with being born a queen. But Angie? I’d probably still hesistate, but not for long. I mean really, who could resist the urge to put that look on her face if they could? Not me. I might be a scared little non-lesbian, but I’m not stupid. There are some opportunities that could never be duplicated and I can’t really think of anyone who would give up the chance to hit that.

My fixation with her isn’t just about sexual attraction, but I’d rather not get too deep into the other stuff right now. Just know that I admire a lot of the things she’s been doing around the world and I don’t spend my movie-watching time imagining her naked (when she isn’t already) instead of paying attention to the plot.

Hmm. Why did I write “naked” and “Angelina” in the same post? My train of thought is almost completely gone now. Dang it.

What was I saying? Oh yes. The girl is hot. I know what you’re thinking. DUH! But you don’t know how hard it is for me to admit that, especially knowing I’ve linked this blog to a few hundred (sometimes) judgmental folks at my favorite message board. Then again, half those jokers want to do her too, so maybe I won’t get teased too much. After all, don’t we all want to dip in her honey pot?

Great. Now that brings to mind all kinds of images of smacking lips and tongues darting out and…mm.

If someone hears her next movie is looking to cast a big booty black chick, kindly let me know. Your reward? A blow-by-blow after my “audition.”

Signed,

Only a lesbian for one woman who I’ll probably never have (and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count)